Few things in this life are as painful and challenging as trying to get your spouse to get help for a drug or alcohol problem. When a spouse or significant other is caught in the turmoil of addiction, it affects the entire family. There is typically a roller coaster of emotions as you watch your loved one deteriorate under the clutches of addiction. It’s normal to feel mad, betrayed, or abandoned as you watch them choose drugs and alcohol over your relationship and children. You must remember that they are powerless under the grips of addiction, and it controls them. It’s normal to feel alone and have all these swirling emotions.
However, the goal is to get them to a treatment center where they can find the help they need. Your relationship is intimate. Since you are the closest person to your partner, you feel like it’s your job to help. In the initial phases of addiction, you may have defended them or downplayed the problem to others. Now, you may feel the pangs of guilt as you need help. Most people cannot overcome addiction alone; they need support from a rehabilitation center and their family. Remember, you can’t fix this for them as they must be willing and acknowledge that they have a problem. Very few people can overcome any addiction without proper help, and when dealing with some dependency, quitting cold turkey can be dangerous.
Convincing Your Spouse To Go For Treatment
If your spouse needs outpatient treatment, you may be lost on where to start the journey. First, they must be receptive and willing to hear what you have to say. Second, they must admit there is a problem that needs to be treated. Here are some ways that you can tell them how you feel and initiate a conversation about rehabilitation.
• Stage an Intervention
Staging an intervention is a great idea if you feel alone and that your words alone may not have a significant impact. It’s also a good idea if you feel that the person could become combative or even violent when you confront them. An intervention should be approached with a positive spin out of love and not a demeaning tone pointing the finger. Your tone and attitude during this session could make all the difference.
• Write Them A Letter
Sometimes, it’s easier to put your feelings into a letter than to face someone. Many people get frazzled when they try to speak, so they find that writing works much better. Pour your heart and soul out in a letter. Remember, the key elements are how much you love them and want them to get better. You can tell them how their addiction is affecting your family. If you cannot confront them face-to-face, then putting it in writing may work.
• Go To Therapy Together
Therapy is another excellent option when you need help in talking to your spouse about difficult issues. Counselors are well skilled in how to deal with these types of situations. They can take the lead and help you to show the person the reasons why they need help. If your spouse is receptive to therapy, the chances are good that they will be receptive to help too.
• Have Friends or Family Members Talk To Them
Is there a friend or family member that can always get through to your spouse? If a mother or brother has a way of talking to them, then it’s worth a try to let them speak candidly to them. Just because you are a spouse doesn’t mean that you will have all the answers, nor does it mean that you are the only one that can get through to them.
Facing The Truth
Your spouse may be in denial. Most people with addiction issues believe they can control their use. They may be reluctant to get help even when threatened with the fact that you may leave. It’s time to face the truth about the situation. You must understand that substance abuse can quickly grasp a person’s life and take control. It will create drama and turmoil in your relationship, and the dynamics can shift significantly. You may no longer be able to recognize the loving, compassionate relationship you once had together. It’s time for a change. Our counselors have experience in helping people and their spouses with addiction issues. By calling 833-610-1174, we can help to put you on the right path. We can find a center close to you that will help your spouse recover. All it takes is one phone call to change a life.